More than 11 likes on an Instagram picture of moi

For he first time and on my birthday. Yippee!!!. Yay me!

Cringe cringe cringe cringe cringe!!!!'

Why do i keep having to be reminded of this.

Can I go one week without being reminded of how behind I am in comparison to Monica hew.

This nigga needs yo leave my room.

New year, new me, new everything.

This is the year to be happy. The year to do my best at all times as the proviso. If I know I can do better I should do it. Time to try out some advice from my sage father.

How I am normally

I think I must be very distant normally. Cos when I try to act distant no one notices the difference

Got an earful from my parents

I guess this is what i needed all along.

Love my iPhone I can't say that enough

I love my iPhone. I love it very much. I don't know what I would do without it. Actually I do know but I like it either way

I cannot stand my parents

I've been with my parents only two weeks now. It started out great but now I hate it. My mother cannot stop nagging me. I wouldn't be up to bed this kind of thing In nigeria for two weeks

Fear of Home

To be afraid of the people who love you.

To fear receiving their anger

To be afraid of the bad decisions

Of things you can change no longer

A new feeling, a rare feeling

A lonely hole of despair

where in irony you reject its filling.

Tis in such a position I find myself,

once again hoping for the blessing of denial,

but old words of wisdom once heard,

assuade me that my day of reckoning is nigh.

"More time, more time!", cried many a tyrant

while trying to cover up his evil doing on time

but as always it soon becomes quite apparent

that the maker's benevolence will always decline

How pitiful for me then

To be a tyrant not in power but folly

as i prepare for my funeral pyre

and reflect on my life's laughable irony.

I have neither lived nor loved, nor thrown myself to destructible vice.

and yet shall be meet the punishment of those who have

The seven deadly sins were my downfall

If wishes were horses, I would kill to ride

for my wishful thinking is all i have to cling

Remeber this feeling debola

After a completed workout I feel amazing

my birthday

today was awesome. I definitely feel like i have more people that love me than last year. Udenna called, mummy called, taiwo and aunty joke called, banke called, gehna fb'd me, ayo pinged, i saw tj nd he told me, manuel called, kwynn called, taylor and kho bought me a cake and got me pizza. today was a good day. :)

He called

:)

Just had a killer workout

:)

Eat way too much this morning

Feel fat.

This iPod is amazing

It really making my life so much better. Best thing I ever bought.

Speaking to KWYNN for the first time in about a year.

I'm so on cloud nine right now.

Loving my new iPod

loneliness

The silence in my heart,
The joy in my ears
The loneliness so bleak
All my limbs want to weep

I lay all day and watch all night
listening to the clock tick
unforgivingly through each week.

My faith in self is shattered
and faith in friends is lost
to turn to i have nothing
but my base desires and wants
I do not despair nor do i cry
but that which i keep
is much worse inside

Bare hatred tis thee
that balances my all
my love and lust are nought
and tis thee i seek for warmth
I look around me each day
at smiling faces all round
and with each second it gets harder
to fight my demons and smile again.

I hate, I sleep, I watch
and fear that each second
takes away a new notch.

My Birthday

Today I woke up, as happy as can be
full of hope,joy and dripping with glee


the day went by nicely and slow,
each second bringing to me a whole new glow.

All this i enjoyed till i looked in the mirror, and was struck by the beast i saw beyond the glass.

an ugly black being, with fat thighs and a spotted face
a wretched shell not worthy of the human race.

I hate myself, and everything about me.
From the tip of my head, to the toes i can see.


I'm fat, lazy and have nothing to offer
with delusions of grandeur, and an eating disorder.

The thougth of suicide seems so comforting,
It beckons to me like a silver lining.


but like the coward i will am , i never see it through,
 choosing to believe that everyday life will get better when the only thing each day brings is more crying.

I do sympathize with my mother, knowing she would really be hurt at the time of my death,
so all i do is dream of it, the day i will choose to utter my last breath.

Damn the Gods for making me the way I am,
for the thoughts I indulge and impulses that are banned

for because of them each day is horrible, sad and hazy.
but at least i can find refuge in my poems, the eternal refuge of the meek and lonely.